Quick and Dirty
Hmm…I wonder how many pornbots I’m going to pick up with that title? Aw, heck–who am I kidding? I purposely labeled this post with a provocative title to lure in more readers. I do so love luring…
So, thanks to all for reading, to hanging in during the past few months, and for playing with me on Twitter and Facebook while I was away from Le Blog. I was most disappointed that as I was just getting a head of blogging steam, work became awful. Seriously. In my department, there are two of us that handle a job and person #2 transferred out in mid-October, so I picked up the slack until new person was hired and started 2 weeks ago. Between that and editing (and let us not forget the holidays!), I was ex-haus-ted!
But! It’s all done now and I’m back and peppy and (somewhat) rested and looking forward to blogging once again. Huzzah!
So, to reward my loyal readers (and I love each and every one of you! Mwah!) and say howdy to those I lured, I give you the Muppets:
(Quick note before promised frivoloty–I went to YouTube to find an awesome Muppets video and my hand to God the banner at the top was the Muppets. How’s that for some crazy synergy? Okay, mind blowing accomplished–now back to the Muppets:)
Hello! *glurg glurg*
I’m still alive–just been uber-crazy at work and me and Montana actually managed a vacation somewhere in there, so the web has been suffering mightily. I hope it calms down enough this next week where I can do a proper update and talk about my NaNo progress (hahahahaha) and say hi to all.
Happy Friday and weekend and November and don’t forget to set your clocks back an hour this weekend.
Oh yeah–go Bears.
For Every Yin, There is a Yang
For a second, I thought about calling this post Stop Jerking My Yang but then decided not to. (And now I’m thinking about Don’t Go Breaking My Yang but that just seems to be getting silly, and if there is one thing I Will. Not. Have. here at my blog, is silly.)
Right-o then. Moving on.
So, to get this post aligned more in the direction I had originally intended, (I chalk the above up to low blood sugar…), I give you a postulate of mine:
When something/body treats you like shit, there will be something/body soon after who will balance that with good.
Backstory, you ask for? Why, I’d be delighted!
This was discovered many moons ago when I worked as an assistant manager for OfficeMax. One normal day I was behind the customer service counter when a man (I will not use the term ‘gentleman’ for obvious reasons) came in asking about a pen refill. We didn’t carry that pen, ergo we didn’t have refills for it either, hadn’t since I had been there. This man did not believe me and became more and more belligerent, until finally he yelled at me and threw the pen at me, skipping it across the counter with no small degree of force.
*asshole* Oh, excuse me. Had a sneeze there.
Well, later that day, I was covering for a cashier on break and rang out two nuns, penguin suits and all. Transaction completed, they blessed me.
You heard me right. They blessed me. With hand gestures and everything. Ignoring the fact I’m not Catholic and am not really religious, it was kinda cool. Like the universe had seen the man (*asshole* Whoo, allergies are really kicking up this year!) come in and be a tool, and decided to send in a crack squad of Really Nice. And ever since then, I’ve noticed that when some awful thing has happened, an equal good has soon after. Thus my postulate.
Why am I bringing this up today, you ask? Well, I’ve discovered a corollary:
When the universe sends you crap/distractions/stuff to keep you from your writing, the Girls in the Basement will balance that with The Shiny.
This past week or so (let’s call this a 7-day’er, not just a ‘since Monday’ length of time) the job has been pretty abysmal. Now, it’s set to radically improve in just a little over twenty-four hours, but for now, I’m riding the Shit Train. Yesterday, as I was driving home, I put my iPod on my Trance mix so I could relax and arrive home without the vestiges of Work Ick all over me. Lo, in the middle of Barber’s Adagio for Strings, I get a delightful idea that is building on a past delightful idea for an upcoming story of mine. Awesome, right? Yes, but the Girls were not finished!
I lay down to get a little rest after having spent the day restraining myself from throwing an elbow at the back of somebody’s head like a MMA fighter with a snootful of angry and, bless those Girls, as I was thinking of how my heroine looked, they sent me a line that made me jump up and grab a pen! (Because we all know what happens when we don’t, right? Right?)
Spectacular line committed to paper, I lay back down, this time with the iPod and the rest of the soundtrack in progress queued up and I now have the first quarter of my book, the two turning points after that, and a rough idea for an ending. If you asked me to, I could sit down and write this sucker, it’s that alive, vibrant, and sketched out.
And it’s gonna make BROKEN look like a basket full of kittens on the back of a unicorn while tiny fairies in pastel dresses dance on glittery rainbows overhead. I am in love.
Bring it, universe. I’ve got your yang right here.
No Particular Reason
Last night I was thinking about one of my favorite movies, REAL GENIUS, and 
whatever is or is not going on with the man now, I have to admit to a real swoon-fest for Val Kilmer. Not necessarily a He’s so dreamy! kind of swoonage, but more the variety of Holy snot, that man is one incredible actor!
Take, for instance, REAL GENIUS. Could anybody have played Chris Knight with the same crazed funhouse verve combined with the intensity and pain that his genius brings?
And who could forget one of his most recent roles (and one of his strongest), Gay Perry in KISS KISS BANG BANG. (Also a stellar performance by a pre-Iron Man RDJ.) I have to admit it’s been a while since I’ve watched that movie, but I remember being amazed at how my Val has grown as an actor.
But my favorite, my all time flap my hands and sigh in sublime delight role of Val’s has absolutely postively got to be Doc Holliday in TOMBSTONE. A fallen hero with a moral code as dark and unwavering as he is, that is a role for the ages, my friend.
Say when.
Is it…Can it be…Yes! It’s Five on Friday!!!
This day (and a Friday, no less) seems to be sliding into a pit of murk and dank that would rival the digestive tract of a rancor after Jabba the Hut threw the Empire’s whole rugby team in the pit for losing the Galactic Cup.
(I know–I couldn’t find an accurate still from the movie so went with this cuter version, thus negating the pit of murk and dank. Deal.)
So (aside from cute monsters holding big bones…), what else, thought I, would redeem this icky Friday? That’s right–an old classic–Five on Friday!!!! *breathy, rock star cheer* So let’s see if we can turn this Death Star around, shall we?
1) Loving the new television season. Old favorites like Castle, Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother are always welcome, but we’re enjoying the beginnings of New Girl and Suburgatory (hey–anything with Alan Tudyk in it mist be given a chance. Plus, there is some sharp YA wit remeniscent of Easy A or Mean Girls in here.) Also loving the web series Husbands, by one of my gods, Jane Espenson. Check it out!
2) So I blogged last week about the book I finished, right? Well, I started doing some light editing on it once past the one week mark and find myself delightfully entranced by it. It’s a good sign and I am chuffed.
3) The summer movies are now coming out on DVD–Thor, Bridesmaids, Captain America, Transformers III, X-Men and I’m sure there’s more, but this is already a bounty worthy of much squeeing.
4) Candy Corn. The bags of treats in every grocery store, the flavored lip balms from Avon, the white-chocolate candy-corn-colored yummies from M&Ms–it’s all good, my babies.
5) Cupcakes. Specifically red velvet ones that make your tongue dance the macarena and a little wookie-like sound of happiness trill from between your lips. Like this one:
May the Friday be with you.
Storms a’comin
Back when we lived in Montana, there were days where it would be both stormy and sunny and the light would pop like the highest-quality neon and the air would smell like something alive. Sometimes the storm would come, sometimes it wouldn’t, but that weather charged me something crazy.
No, it’s not storming like that here, but I’m woke up this morning with that same feeling inside of me. The girls are sending up crazy ideas and every other song on the radio is sparking something deep in my brain and I’m getting thoughts of books that would make my agent run screaming into the distance because of how fucked up they are.
But I’m loving it. And I also know it’ll pass. (I think…) I am making notes and putting these ideas deep into little pots of dirt in my brain where they can breathe in that fecund air and drink deep and sprout into whatever they’re going to be when the time is right.
Dang. This could be something good. 
Fuck You, Facebook (or, What I Did on My Summer Vacation)
I wrote a book.
Hmm, let me rephrase—I wrote another book. This summer, in fact. Just finished it yesterday. Like a burrowing animal in the middle of the summer heat, I tucked into my cool dark cave and wrote 96.5K words in 10 weeks. (Actually I wrote more, but for this book, it was 96.5, or 96,556 if you really want to be precise.)
I’m chuffed. Stoked. Thrilled. Book #7 is finished—not edited at all, but finished. (Must I remind you of La Nora’s immortal words? “I can edit crap, but I can’t edit a blank page.”) I love this story, I love these characters and—this will show you how much I love the freaking thing—I can’t wait to edit it. I can’t wait to smooth and polish and sand away the grit to leave the diamond (or garnet, in this case) shining and luminous in its dark beauty.
There are more posts to come about this book, about others, about how the universe really challenged me this summer and I not only survived, I thrived (Hello? 96.5 words in 10 weeks? That, my friends, is thriving.) and so many other things. But not now. Right now I’m getting back into this blogging flow (and you can thank Facebook and its Lindsay Lohan-like schizo attitude for that) and making the ride one of mellow enjoyment rather than stress.
Comment if you want, don’t if you don’t feel like it, and please don’t be offended if I miss a comment or two. In this new happy and fuzzy place, my brain sometimes goes in other directions and it can be a few days before I remember my old friend, WordPress. (And as I type this as a draft in Word, I wonder how much WordPress has changed in the past 4 months. I may end up with the mother of all snuggies before I managed to get this posted…)
So, to you my friends, both silver and gold, happy fall. (Hmm, I guess that’s official sometime in the wee hours tonight. How appropriate.) Here’s to a kick-ass end of 2011.
Gaga is not Badbad
Okay, first of all–the new update here on WordPress? Totally not a fan. (Really. Might kick me back onto Tumblr pretty soon.) Anyhoozles…
Now, onto more important things–Lady Gaga. On Monday her album/Disc/compilation of current digital downloads released, and on the Saturday before that, she was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live. Now, up until this point, I’ve enjoyed some Gaga, but it wasn’t until I saw her perform (both musically and in sketch comedy) and heard about how she was totally anti-diva that I decided I had become a Little Monster and was now a fan.
So all of this leads me to some of the kerfuffle about Gaga’s ’Born This Way’ and how some are saying it’s ripping off Madonna’s ’Express Yourself’ and cry Foul, foul! and the greatest, most heated debate since New Coke stirs up again. Seriously–I’ve counted 2 such kerfuffles since that song released, and I’m expecting more with the album release this week.
Here’s what I think: Yes, there are some similarties between the two songs, but people, let’s keep this in mind–odds are that Gaga listened to a lot of Madonna when she was growing up (and, to be fair, not all of Madonna’s songs are sterling examples of individuality, as excellent as she is) and that kind of stuff sinks into your head, your soul, your molecular bits. And I believe, just as in any creative endeavor, that the statistics are simply too overwhelming to allow every creative person not to step on toes of every other creative person. There are only so many combinations of words, notes, colors and images–some overlap is bound to occur. I myself had a two or three line scene for one of my books that was so unique, so special, that I felt like I had discovered a new element. Then one day a year or so ago, I read an excerpt from an author who I’d only read once before and she had that same image in her book.
Yes, my head exploded.
But that makes my point for me. Call it your subconscious, call it your influences, call it sheer luck of the numbers, and you’re going to get this. We all are. I say Gaga did nothing wrong, and from what I understand, Madge’s camp is saying the same thing. If she’s not pissed, why should anybody else be? It’s a wonderful song with a gorgeous message and let’s just worship at the dancing feet of Mother Monster for just a few moments.
Consider my paws up.
This Monkey Typed Shakespeare
Hi! Yes, I’m still alive (which you knew because you check me out on Twitter or Facebook, right? Right? *wink wink*) So anyhoozles, I promise to get something like an update post here soon (maybe with some awesome pictures of pancakes), but I had to tell you what happened to me this week first.
So I’m at work on Monday, dressed very nicely in a patterned white, button-down shirt, navy slacks and navy heels. Tres office chic, no? A little before lunch, I’m craving a little something fizzy and caffeine-y, so decide to go to the small store across the street and get my infusion of diet Dr. Pepper. Rather than take my big bag o’purse, I grab a couple of bills and start to stick them in my pocket. But as the bills don’t get tucked away anywhere, I’m realizing my slacks are sans pockets, tiny decorative ones or otherwise. Specifically, I think, “Hey. These pants don’t have pockets.”
The thought cracks me up so much–really, I’m my own best audience–that I instantly decide to tweet that very thought. See?
So I get my frosty beverage, eat lunch, work, yanno–daily things. A little later I notice that I was getting some rather odd responses to my tweet. By men. By men I don’t know and who do not follow me. Responses like:
- Seriously? Without pockets, what’s the use of clothes at all?
- Better than the other way around.
- What, you mean pockets without pants? That’s what I have.
- Check your shirt. Is it red?
- “Hey, these pants don’t have pockets.” ~Commander Wil Ryker
And with those last two comments, I think I’m starting to understand. Somehow I’ve stumbled into a Star Trek: The Next Generation reference. I tried to google it and came up with something kinda close, but am still having a general WTF moment. I pass it off until the next day, when I think to hit the button that shows retweets. Needless to say I was gobsmacked when I saw my innocent little post had been retweeted by the one and only Jane Espenson.
Yes, I had a moment. Several, in fact. However, rather than own up to my savaant-like tweet, I simply sat back, enjoyed my brief brush with Jane, and reflected on what I had learned.
- Post what you want to, not what you think is going to gain you retweets and followers. As soon as you stop trying so hard is when you hit it out of the park.
- It’s true. Sit a monkey in front of a typewriter long enough and he’s going to spit out Shakespeare.
Beam me up, Friday!
I’m still in my post-revisions brain mush (about to be carb and sugar coma), so here’s your happy Friday fun day, compliments of the wonderful and talented Pamala Knight. I’m still not sure what it says about me that by this test I’m Kirk first (not the surprise) but that my #2 result is an expendable/redshirt. Wow, I must be some serious kind of fucked-up to get that. I’m disappointed that Spock is so far down the list and that Mr. Sulu doesn’t even rank, but hey–I’m Kirk. Not gonna complain about that. (And I know somebody (kaff*Montana*kaff) who’s not gonna hear the end of it.) Mwah-hah-hah!!
Happy Friday and weekend to all!!!
Take the test and let me know who you are. Maybe between me and Pamala, we can get the whole crew assembled!
