An Open Letter to Kristen “Needs a Warning Label” Callihan

February 16, 2012 at 9:06 am (Authors, Open Letter)

Dear Kristen,

     a) Thanks for nothing.

     b) You are so in trouble, young lady!

     c) You owe me, and then some.

     d) All of the above.

I know—you’re thinking, “Hey! What’s with all the bad vibes here? We haven’t even met for the love of Pete!” Well, let me tell you.

Lovely day yesterday. I took a half day from work and planned to hit the Macy’s President’s Day sale. First day of the sale—I’m bound to hit some sweet deals, right?

WRONG!

I get home, change into some power shopping clothes, and make a quick lunch for extra energy. I sit down to my turkey on wheat with Cheetos and diet Dr. Pepper and, rather than flip on the tv, grab a book I’d purchased on Saturday, still sitting on the entry table by my purse and keys.

Yes, it was FIRELIGHT. Your against-all-odds book.

Four hours later my husband’s walking in the door, asking how my shopping went and why am I sitting there reading in the dark. Your book sucked me in so hard and so fast that I eschewed a sale at Macy’s, curled up on the couch, and read until the sun went down.

 A sale at Macy’s! It’s hard for me to even think about it without weeping.

Real life took the evening hours, but Miri and Archer stayed in my head, giving me come-hither smiles and whispering enticing promises to come back. They were cajoling me, Kristen! Cajoling! Is that fair, I ask you? No, I think even you’ll agree it was not.

Yeah, you know what’s coming up, you dark and…and…cajoling scribe of potent words and lush images. I stayed up way too late, unable to put down your heady quicksand of a story until I’d drained every last word and let the essence linger on my tongue.

You want examples? Proof for your kangaroo court? Fine, I’ll give you proof!

  • Page 33—when we get a first taste of how much these two people were meant to be together and ache with them when their vulnerabilities are laid bare.
  • Page 138—yeah. Nothing more to say here.
  • Page 289—Archer’s impassioned declaration? Uh-huh. Yeah—I dare a jury to toss this one out.
  • Page 318—The (redacted) is your gift? (No, I’m not worried about spoilers, I just don’t want any other sucker with plans for the day to fall into the same trap I did. Save yourselves!) How could I not fall even harder for Archer with that, yearn for Miri to get the man she’s always needed?
  • Page 363—I double-dog dare you to hold this up to any court and see who doesn’t side with me. This was simply the most stunning and breathtaking scene I may have ever read.  

I could keep going, but it would just be a listing of page numbers—372 to be exact. I just can’t believe you give me one of the most darkly sensual stories I’ve ever read, combined with the lure of mystery and a supernatural bend, and didn’t insist that your publisher put a warning label on the front!

So, when I start bitching because I need more clothes for work or missed “the dress” I’m looking for for an upcoming wedding, or when my co-workers ask me why I’m so damn cranky today, ignoring their not-so-subtle whispers of maybe another gallon of Dr. Pepper might be in order, or—and let me remind you that you only brought this on yourself—when I start stalking you on Twitter and Facebook for any word, any hint, any promise of a new story, let me only say that it is all your fault.

From one bold enough to tell the truth,

Pam

10 Comments

  1. Sofia Harper said,

    Kristin should be tarred and feathered for this. A sale? At Macy’s?

    • Pamela Cayne said,

      You’d really think so, but this book was excellent with a capital SQUEE! Truthfully well worth missing the sale. :-)

  2. Kristen Callihan said,

    Hmm… I am trying to feel guilty about the lost Macy’s sale opportunity -lord knows, I loves me a good sale- but I can’t get past the fact that this just might be the best scolding…er…letter I’ve ever received. :-D

    However, as recompense for any ensuing wardrobe issues, I shall gladly send you a six-pack of Dr. Pepper (mmmm…Dr. Pepper)

    P.S. Is it sad that I had to look up said page numbers? *g*

    • Pamela Cayne said,

      Well, it’s not like Macy’s doesn’t have other sales, so this once you can be forgiven. ;-)

      And no, it’s not sad that you had to look up the page numbers. It is a thing of delight that you had page numbers to look up. Congrats again on a STUNNING book! :-)

  3. heathersnowbooks said,

    Darling post, Pamela! Laughed out loud :)

    • Pamela Cayne said,

      Thanks, Heather. If there’s one thing us Poelle girls have, it’s snark! :-D

  4. Robin Bielman said,

    Oh, this was an awesome post, Pam!! I love that you were so swept away! I’m adding Firelight to my to-buy list right this instant!

    Have a great weekend!

    • Pamela Cayne said,

      Hope you love it too, Robin! (Sorry for adding to your huge TBR list!) :-)

  5. Ashley Anne Ridgeway said,

    Oh my. I have to agree with everything that you’ve said above. I too just picked up this book at a local Marsh Home Town Market. I haven’t been able to put this book down. I’ve yet to finish it. I don’t want the story to end. I was up until 6:30 this morning reading. I can’t wait to get my hands on more of her stories!

    • Pamela Cayne said,

      Ashley–I know! Isn’t she awesome? And to have to wait until MOONGLOW comes out in August is going to be torture! Oh yeah–she needs a warning label, all right! :-)

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